Our condition

Truth from the soule
Cannot be falsified
By what the eye perceives
Or the mouth that speaks utter lies

A man can find himself completely and utterly alone among throngs and waves of people, he can feel polluted or inebriated by this feeling at times and be at a loss with himself. The ideals, objects, proposed morals are what muddy his thoughts. There is something that calls every living being, that which varies and is beyond human manufacturing, it will shake his very core and will have him question the very basis of the mechanisms which govern his life. This will help him come to the realization that no other living physical being determines his action nor life. When this point is reached it can go either way on the spectrum of societal acceptance.

The ethical and moral issues of human nature are so overly analysed that, without the mechanism of logic/reasoning, people are overcome with fear, fear of not being able to box in an idea, ideals, actions, emotions. They cannot accept things without putting restrictions and limitations on them. Death,killing another is seen negatively or wrong in our society because we have created reasons and reasoning's as to why it is immoral. Religion is the mechanism to justify our means saying that only one appointed figure,god, has the right him being the creator, thus giving him ownership but, this is taboo, a contradiction or double standard as we kill those that we ourselves don't have natural ownership of animals, criminals, bugs, etc. We did not create these beings as our figurehead has, therefore we have no right by the standards we have set up ourselves. This is the view of human right and wrong although we turn a blind eye when it is profitable to us as a small collective or single person. We have reasoned ourselves to a point of comfort as to what is right and wrong. The basic instinct of people as ANIMALS is a connection, primal, biological, or spiritual, whatever you choose to believe, at the core we are all linked and cannot sever our ties. We are irrefutably animals no matter how we as a society classify ourselves. This truth is apparent in almost any wildlife dogs, birds, horses, and many others. They do not kill or hatefully and concsiously harm each other with unecessary motives. For the most part they work together for the food of thier species and each other, something we as humans mist of lost over years of conditioning. The thing that seperated us is our drive to do things out of the sole concern of ourselves and with little consideration for others, as to the other species who we deem savage and lower than us seem to do the complete opposite.

Stoned again

My feelings for you in the begining were like the blazing sun on a hot summer day now they've turned to a warm breeze throught the fall. I've learned to accept things the way they are.

Stoned

Our childishness is the only thing retained throughout our lives. When I say childishness Mean the need to explain things and understand.it to yourself and sometimes others, it starts when your small, and to you emotions are just like colors when you were a kid there was green blue red and yellow etc. We didn't notice the shades we just under stood things simply, this ties in to innocence which we don't keep as we pass through life innocence was the unknowing of general things that our society of structures contain, we didn't know of money or bills,Sex, transportation the future, the past. When we learn of the deemed serious issues that our society revovles around it brings more simple subjects into our lives giving us stress over having to worry about things that society takes so seriously and imposes on us. But with it our childishness acts as a function to lessen our stress. This is how rational thinking is started we tell ourselves that things aren't as simple or as pleasant as before we know about societal issues with this , this is how issue and emotional shading ,things have another set of layers or reasons and sub-reasons come about. Being happy was no longer simply happy or not happy, it changes to really estatic to mildly content and all those inbetween. We reason why we feel certain ways because of the pre-existing societal issues like before mentioned. these functions are what posses us to give more "shades" to our feelings and complicates them. then with that we have the function of growing up, profound meaning or higher understanding, enlightenment if you will. with this it seems that emotions are very very differentiated from what current feelings are and idealized feelings are.....

Plaything convienence

It's funny how you think you know a person but then like everything over time they change and they aren't what you remembered them as. They once were someone very close but then you look back at them and they are someone you don't even know anymore, all the feelings you had for them have decrease dramatically because the time you took to step back and see them as just another person viod of your feelings towards them no matter how much you felt for them and you realize things that must of been apparent to the naked eye. I'm just glad that things like this are becoming more and more apparent to me as I get ready to leave to San Fran so now I won't feel homesick for the false imageries portrayed. by people that don't really care unless it's convienent for them . It's these people that skewered your perceptions on things growing up and going through life these people aren't really all that bad though they teach you that you really only need to trust yourself rather than what little niceties they throw at you because the second you fall for it is the moment you'll be digging yourself into a hole that your only gonna have yourself to climb out of. So in the end I feel like I can say that I finally see they didn't feel the way I felt about them but they only wanted you around for their convenience then they cast you aside till your of use again. Keep forward man keep forward

linear disease

Does anyone truly know the answer to life? Not that I can think of. Some philosophers like socrates say the true meaning of life is to achieve a greater sense of good, this good leading up to an ultimate good or virtue that has no reward other than being in it self. As this is correlated it is believed by following philosophers that the ultimate good or virtue is happiness, and to even further that extent they also said that the closest one can understand that is to love not nessecarily for someone of the other sex but love in general is what it is to have achieved your meaning in life. To love is what the meaning of life is to many philosophers, but sadly they have also recorded that they have not fullly attained that in thier lifetime. It is a curious thing as to what love is but no one can really define it simply or linearly, if they can even attempt to explain it at all. We as logical beings decide to use our usual methods of factoring answers by defining what love is not rather than what it is but with such a linear train of thought there is no way to understand or explain what cannot be thought of linearly or logically. For those that think that love is a feeling, I feel that your on the road to discovering what real passion is, but not the basis of love. Even though these two idealogies are within the realm of each other, they Are two different entities altogether. These two concepts and idealogies cannot be mapped to one another by simply making a family tree of connections. If you think that you truly love someone it is not what you think of your family or close ones that is an entirely different entity in itself you cannot grasp what it is truly is until you have experienced it. No feeling or ideas can be simply connected as if they were close In relativity but treat them As completly different idealogies And as strangers to one another because no concept is similar. Similarities were only created to ease the boundries of which which we think it is a tool that let's us smudge the boundaries of what is really there. I cannot define what love is as to I am only human on my part , but we know that the concept of right and wrong are to different ideas altogether. This type of oblique thinking which has become so linear and contradictory to our way of thinking is now accepted as a constant/fact. If we are to treat our ideas in the same way these so called similarities will not be able to beguile us from what is truly in front of us as irrefutable evidence to what we choose to search for or search to define. Remeber when creating and exploring the answers for yourself that not everything is black and white and that every thing is clear cut and easily acceptable because this will only lead to much confusiion later when finding answers. There are many gray areas or undefinable things that we can't simply square off and save ourselves from panic as they aren't truly mention to be understood linearly as we are so commonly and comfortably set to think.

to a brother of spirit

I know your getting caught up on the time which every one is wasting,to get a start on your life your meeting new people, learning new things but don't forget the one thing you had in mind when leaving town, the experience of something new.
I know your having that adventure you wanted for yourself but don't be too closed minded there is more to everything than just your dorm floor or your school campus.
you now have liberating freedom which at times can be hard to deal with but it is a gift really. now that you have these opportunities to go somewhere you haven't been take some people to remember your college years with make the memories yours. even though partying is fun it isn't all that can be done with your school life. take a road trip for the weekend and just camp out somewhere do something that you'll significantly remember apart from the hazy nights of partying. That way you'll always have something to smirk about when your stuck in your dorm doing homework or a mid-term paper.I can't really tell you exactly what it is you should do once in a while to make the best of your opportunity to make fond memories but it should be something that is significantly different from the general memory of your friends it needs to be something unique to you something you would understand why it happened. There are many things that only you would understand when you do them but don't hesitate on them.When you think everyone else will question it and ask you why or not understand you it means your being yourself because no one can fully grasp what goes on in your mind. Since that is the case don't let any woman get to you or guilt trip you on anything.Women like that aren't worth the time of day, I'm not telling you that you need to settle down or anything but sort out exactly what you want, whether it be by trial and error or another way. Also don't let any woman get a hold of your strong heart if she does then your done for she will cast you aside like your a worn out toy, you know who I'm referring to ha. there will be people in your life that really appreciate you and then those that just want you as a toy they can cast aside this applies to everyone male and female. those that just call you or talk to you when they seem like they have nothing better to do are people you want to distance yourself from these people like to have you around for entertainment and they will poison your very core. don't let the people around you corrupt you stay true to yourself no matter what the outcome, if someone questions why, tell them why not? if it makes sense to you then you pursue whatever it is your doing, and don't do it half assed, when they are done that way they will only become a tool to depress you later on when you think of the what could have instead of the tried and done. Things are also easier in theory than in practice but your theories should become your practice that way you know how you work in correspondence to those around you it will help you see and understand things in ways you were blind to before. some insight will make things easier while other are harder but you are the only one who can find balance in what you do

Swimming minds

For some reason when I write I can't bring myself to write just a measly sentence to make a meager attempt to convey my thoughts, but my mind is completely swimming as of now .
there are many things that ones soul truly craves sometimes it's not precisely elaborated
something that ive felt that I want is the experience of going somewhere new and having a complete 180 of your current situation.
people always want to have a new experience that they will carry with themselves a life time even if it means being seperated from those close to you but only that type of experience will open your eyes to those that are really important to you. Sometimes you will be in a current situation where you take way too much for granted and don't even realize it. When you do your going to be hundred of miles away. It will be a good thing though. Your going to realize this too late down the road and the only thing you really can do is to carry your insights with you and enrich your life for the better because after a long run of monotony you need something to give you an experience. Were naturally curious creatures that crave to question and experience things that they don't know.
Do you ever question who your true friends are?To be able to know a person from one contact would Make life alot easier but that's not how things turn out. After time you realize who was and really is your friend some of these people that you chose to hangout with during your highschool years or for some period of time were just people that gave you something to do and in return you always did something exciting with them not to say they weren't your friends but they were childhood friends. the lifelong friends you make will have you realize that you might not have anything in common with them at all or that you guys don't even really do anything together but just talk and lay around because you both know each other enough to know how to relax and not stress over having to do something. they are people that when out of complete isolation they are the people you can get ahold of to do nothing just for the simple fact that you don't feel like being a hermit and you want to kill time with someone all in all theyre different from regular friends, regular friends come and go but the friends as stated are more like family than anything some ties will weaken or strengthen over time but they will always be there even when you grow old and have a family and your own built life . They will be the ones you can reminisce with about when you were younger. Nostalgia is a horrible thing when your alone but that's what your good friends are for . you may even pass up some great friends when your caught up in the now and those friends that are there entertaining you will distract you from really experiencing anything but a quick pleasure of entertainment.

catcher in the rye

What really knocks me out is a book, when you're all done reading it, you wished the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it.


Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them - if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry.


I feel more and more that this book has enthralled me.
It just entices me in ways i cant even begin to comprehend, so i cant really put it into words.
This book has me wanting to be a catcher in the rye.
The feeling of the book spills out to my life now more than ever
if you've read it then you might know what i mean.
Honestly, i don't wish for a single thing in my past to be different right now.
All of you I've ever met or just talked to randomly are forever engraved into me
All of you, have made me the person I am.
Whether you see it as a good or bad thing is only a reflection of yourself.
you interpret things the way you thing so if it is negative,then in retrospect you are a self corrupting person.
But i digress, thank every single one of you, those that hate me, love me, used me, or don't even know me, I'm grateful to you.
I hope that I can instill the lessons you've brought me unto anyone that is willing to listen and take advice.
No matter what any of you that read this will be a fond part of my memories of my life
and I will hope to see you all around at some point in time.
email me call me or whatever you like just a hello from you will make my day.

"What I was really hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by. I mean I've left schools and places I didn't even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't, you feel even worse."

I think this is how i feel right now, now that I'm leaving i don't really think anyone will let me leave with a feeling of a goodbye, I feel like I've just been passing through.

Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

I'm gonna miss her the most i dont know why.I dont think we ever even seen eye to eye its like we were just a few steps away from being on the same page.

"I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can." VACB

damninique(cont)

im starting to think the only reason i post on here is to correspond to something you have to say
your post always end up putting me in a writing mood
intellect only stemsmore intellectual thought right?
well either way im kinda glad
thanks for giving my brain work
now im not just rotting away

damninique

Don't let your mind get to you.
You think things are going horrible for you, well guess what?
They just might be.
That's life, that's what you chose when you decided to become a free individual,
take your decision and outcomes as a gift from your past self. It's what you wanted you wanted to be your own person. Don't betray yourself by going back to a safe routine force your way through things until you change things to how you like it.
Everyone has homesickness, sickness of where they're at, but it takes work and time to overcome all of it because your the one who makes your home.
You are the only one who can make a safe and comfortable place for yourself when you've left your old safety.
you can only depend on yourself.
no one can make things better
they only make things familiar.
It's okay to feel nostalgic and miss things but the instant you succumb to your fears is the time when you are going to become truly unhappy with yourself.
Everyone criticizes themselves, we're human after all
but that stage of the thinking you have right now is a human characteristic to strengthen yourself, don't be one to let your resolve for something better weaken so easily you are stronger than that, at least that's what i have been led to believe.
After all is said and done, and the door closes behind you at night you have yourself
you have to be happy with your decisions and actions, basically you have to be happy with the person your becoming.
It was never going to be easy or all fun and games
its a struggle that you have to come out on top of
and you may have people that help and support you but they cant do anything for you that you couldn't do yourself
your stronger than you think
so don't be so easily defeated by your worst enemy, yourself
ill believe in you even if you don't

its just my nature :]




"This fall I think you're riding for - it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement's designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn't supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started."

Dedication to daminique

everyones going to go thier own way.
they will follow thier own path.
theres something child-like in every one of us that has an intangible fascination with the world around us that we dont normally see so we are compelled to branch out despite our fears and hopes and dreams we do it out of our fascination with intellect.
i say intellect because we crave to know everything wether you would care to admit it or not breaking out of your safe bubble you call home is one of the best things to do for your soul if not anything else itll make you appreciate all the friends you have the little quaint things in your everyday life. everything seems like it will be so much greater in a new town with new poeple but its almost the same its just an eye opener for anyone thats done it
and you become a better and smarter person for it it makes you not worry about trivial things but emboldens you to them you take notice in everything that you might miss if you were still clinging to your safety zone so all of you that are going out and spreading your wings in pursuit of your dreams i envy and appreciate you
i would like to know what you do now and how things are no matter who you are as i hope you will feel the samewith me

nostalgia

Think back to a time you remember being happy.
Now, does that thought of being happy kind of make you a little bit sad?
It is only because there is something you wish you could do to have that happiness again
friends lost , things cherished, events missed.
The only reason for this feeling is because you don't really know what you have until you lose it.
Don't get confused and irritated with what you have now or else you'll be looking back at yourself like an idiot , truly appreciate things as they are and don't let the trivial matters get to you.
If you cant see why you should stay mad in the future make the incident in the past.
I sometimes wonder if i made the right choice by letting my feelings out?
People move on but still linger in someway on things that give them a reminiscent happiness as to what was instead of what they have and ignore and burden the present.
I am slowly thanking karma for what i have in my lap now, but still dip into the waters of past.

dwindlings of my sanity

What the hell is love?
who really knows what it is?
Fuck who has actually ever experienced it?
For those who think they have they probably haven't even come close because nowadays everything is based on looks and sexual appeal. Those that think they have have just settled for the best "easiest" be it all meanings of the term and also the safest. i mean safest because these people tried to find the quickest and easiest person that was a safe bet that wouldn't leave them
I bet that if you gave them the time they wouldn't be able to say anything in defense or if you asked them what love meant to them that they would have the one cheesy line saying
"its indescribable" anyone who can actually give me a good explanation of why they love someone please be my guest but i find it hard to believe anyone out here reading any of this would be interested enough to read this and respond but then again I'm pretty sure none of you will read anyways because your to busy off chasing a dream girl/boy that doesn't exist with the perfect image to you
and i mean when you think about them your first thought of someone thinking about a perfect person was them thinking about their dream person physically nothing else really

you fucking pigs get your goddamn mind out of the wading pool you shallow fucks
that's all it is nowadays
why do you think divorce is so common?
not that i hold tight to the religious act of marriage because religion is a different matter i will get into next time
but this goes back to how all of you gather around in your social cliques or circles talking about this kind of thing , girls i hear are pretty fond of the notebook and for some reason they go wild over it
it seems like a pretty lame movie to me
i mean did any of the ideals besides falsified love through Hollywood multimedia brainwashing get through to you?
i didn't think so
and guys? shit well i shouldn't even fucking start
its not even a movie less than a goddamn porno they base their girls off of
people are in it for the immediate gratification
so girls that give up
my advice is to stop and wait for marriage or whatever you think is a lifelong partner because half these guys out here are very good at the waiting game because of the brief trend of being a good girl came around
and i don't know how that even came about now its kinda
civility in public and freak in private
but still socially acceptable which to me is pretty sad that they cant help themselves because they don't want to be noticed by one person but everyone
same with guys which is sad to me no one has any respect for themselves
they just whore themselves out nowadays with trendy clothes to attract attention from the opposite sex
and game? what the fuck is game? why the fuck has it been so irreverently dismayed to being called game ?

its become completely falsified nowadays ,finding someone is completely falsified due to the fact that no one is truly trying to find anyone
all they want to due is throw a few nice words together albeit small short remedial words but a string of nice words none the less to get a few kicks
and even worse is when someone tries to get a bf/gf to attract attention from other guys/girls how pathetic is that shit?
all in all if your a true romantic and you are hoping for something good to come your way
fuck it theres very few of you and remember your scattered across the world
your more likely to come across someone with a cocktail personality who changes their personality to fit you
and if your good with that then fine all the more luck to you but that's a still slim to none chance

bitter society

Why is society decaying further and further into a social and mental decline?
with short quick catchy phrases in music now they are putting your mental expansion down .


Basically they're making it so three or four lines is all you can remember and that you become desensitized an amoralized until you can no longer put together a question in your head either selfishly about your self or three words long?
People in general are to pompous to realize the fact that they are getting dumber and dumber day by day.


Everything is now about instant gratification and simple quick pleasure
nothing has substance or meaning anymore
books nowadays suck
movies nowadays are all flashy graphics or simple twists
music is just tracks of retardation
fashion is someone following someone else who's doing the same thing

And conversation is completely dead. There's no such thing as conversation anymore, just small talk about quick and immediate events or personal problems that wont matter in a day because you'll just forget.


Theres really no talk about ideas concepts or philosophies
or anything with any meaning.


No talk of actual life just "hows the weather, what you been up to?,what happened last time we went to that party?" bullshit
honestly i dont see why i even speak anymore i find myself dwindling in that same downward spiral society is puttin us in and by society i mean the people that live, work, and thrive in it.


People have become so false they agree with someone just to fit in
or as the new trend is to be the most unique even though its just a trend to seem interesting and when someone actually meets you, you really have nothing to offer except the things that you found that someone else hasn't yet found and your list runs short fast
you really have nothing to say nothing you believe just these "pillows" of interesting oddities that you probably found by mistake but it worked for your individuality card

poeple really have no thoughts anymore or anything to themselves to truely show nowadays
the soceity as a whole we live in is nothing but mindless drones daintily runnin around thinkin that thier content with thier preset life
but then again ignorance is bliss i guess
someone today told me the reason im not happy or dont have a life is because i dont care about anything any more but why care about anything? what is there to care about ??? poeple arent truely poeple thier just factors in the big machine of society which has many cogs and springs meshing together where everything is already in a preset pattern so whats the point of caring about something that will always have the same ending its like watching a boring movie over and over again you want to see something new but it never changes
so fuck your society your ideals and morals
all that is fronted to you by your laws and rules and all that good bullshit

cash cows

Whats wrong with us today?
were all money hungry
theres no end to this shit
if you look at it we trade services for other goods
why not cut the middle man out and end the gross scrutiny of the economic system we all put ourselves into this shit and now we cant even dig ourselves out there will be a time where we eventually collapse as a whole and get started over again with a new rule and it will be more authoritarian because we as a society couldn't keep it together
were all slaves to a green piece of paper
now the ones who are really in charge are the ones who control money itself all theses systems are just scapegoats to what we really are we are just generators for those in control we are pieces of investments and cash cows
plutocracy is the word I'm looking for the rich run us we are financial slaves
with us being financially owned our thoughts are influenced by the money we are churning out
however much you spend is how much your worth now
you don't spend your worthless to society
doesn't matter if you had the money to spend in the first place

your society is bullshit

How do people come to standards of judging a person?
What justifies the sense of sizing someone up by their appearance or by who they are known as?
This is why we have so many "criminals". Not every criminal is innocent but i don't see why society sees it as they failed society but rather i see it as society failed them
we have our own governings in society outside of political issues which lead to much distress but, i digress, everything that society has set up: its standards imposed morals and religious backgrounds have sent us into a downward spiral there's no reason to base summations of a person solely on one aspect of a persons life you would have to get to know someone to asses the kind of person they are no one thing should make you who you are but still the society we live in is struck with bullshit like that


so when the homeless man that you think is a drug addict who was actually a war veteran plucks a girl out of the street you automatically assume hes trying to mug/rape her when in actuality he just saved her from getting hit by a car but people still rush to fight him and call the police on him and he goes to jail for saving the girls life


things in life aren't just black and white you cant lump everything into one or the other its simple logic that people know but ,choose to ignore when they say that things are right/wrong ,good/bad, everything is a yes or no answer.This doesn't make sense when all of society is backwards and has no bearings on its own rules because people have been dumbfounded by the ongoing ignorance of their own people and are now desensitized by this remedial repetition of practiced standards
they have so many double standards that they walk a tightrope that will soon enough become their noose

your a god hes a god shes a god

religion is the most puzzling thing I've ever come across.
There is no direction that it goes towards and none of the things you read are ever new, like there's no more lessons to be learned by the community you worship something with. For some reason everyone blindly believes what they were brought up to believe and that one exact religion, their religion is the only proper course of spiritual belief. This goes along with the idea that there is only one definitive answer, a yes or a no. I have never seen anyone who has made up their own beliefs based on their own personal spiritual search. i have met people that say they believe in god but most of society believes in god just because our colonial background was founded by Christians. people that just believe in god but claim no religious background do so because they aren't "devoted" or fully convinced of their cause enough to go to church so they claim no religious background with the hopes of escaping persecution for religious negligence.

have you been answered by a religious figure with another
question or the same statement they approached you with??

this is because they aren't even sure themselves of any answers they could give, they just preached what was preached before them and have no background thought on their words or
choice but rather they want to be saved because they fear death so the
idea of life after death is comforting since they have no idea what
happens after physical death. all in all i believe main religions to be nothing but smoke and mirrors because there is always an air of superiority with no backing and circular answers.