Stoned again

My feelings for you in the begining were like the blazing sun on a hot summer day now they've turned to a warm breeze throught the fall. I've learned to accept things the way they are.

Stoned

Our childishness is the only thing retained throughout our lives. When I say childishness Mean the need to explain things and understand.it to yourself and sometimes others, it starts when your small, and to you emotions are just like colors when you were a kid there was green blue red and yellow etc. We didn't notice the shades we just under stood things simply, this ties in to innocence which we don't keep as we pass through life innocence was the unknowing of general things that our society of structures contain, we didn't know of money or bills,Sex, transportation the future, the past. When we learn of the deemed serious issues that our society revovles around it brings more simple subjects into our lives giving us stress over having to worry about things that society takes so seriously and imposes on us. But with it our childishness acts as a function to lessen our stress. This is how rational thinking is started we tell ourselves that things aren't as simple or as pleasant as before we know about societal issues with this , this is how issue and emotional shading ,things have another set of layers or reasons and sub-reasons come about. Being happy was no longer simply happy or not happy, it changes to really estatic to mildly content and all those inbetween. We reason why we feel certain ways because of the pre-existing societal issues like before mentioned. these functions are what posses us to give more "shades" to our feelings and complicates them. then with that we have the function of growing up, profound meaning or higher understanding, enlightenment if you will. with this it seems that emotions are very very differentiated from what current feelings are and idealized feelings are.....

Plaything convienence

It's funny how you think you know a person but then like everything over time they change and they aren't what you remembered them as. They once were someone very close but then you look back at them and they are someone you don't even know anymore, all the feelings you had for them have decrease dramatically because the time you took to step back and see them as just another person viod of your feelings towards them no matter how much you felt for them and you realize things that must of been apparent to the naked eye. I'm just glad that things like this are becoming more and more apparent to me as I get ready to leave to San Fran so now I won't feel homesick for the false imageries portrayed. by people that don't really care unless it's convienent for them . It's these people that skewered your perceptions on things growing up and going through life these people aren't really all that bad though they teach you that you really only need to trust yourself rather than what little niceties they throw at you because the second you fall for it is the moment you'll be digging yourself into a hole that your only gonna have yourself to climb out of. So in the end I feel like I can say that I finally see they didn't feel the way I felt about them but they only wanted you around for their convenience then they cast you aside till your of use again. Keep forward man keep forward